....

I sat down one random day and thought about my life, and how i have plunged into several projects and giving up half way through, of course my weight loss tops the list of abandoned projects. I have no idea what is wrong with me. I start something, feeling unstoppable and then all of a sudden i back out.

To be honest i have no excuse as to why i stopped my diet/exercise, cos it was going great, it wasn't one of those diets that kill you, this went well. The only excuse i would say is my trip to france, that kinda messed things up a bit, but i got back feeling pretty motivated, then i kept procastination; i'll start on monday, no tuesday, no after this selfridges caramel cheesecake (MY ULTIMATE WEAKNESS) i'll start, ok after this pasta that my favourite twins have prepared i will start, ok i am definitely starting after my birthday, ok when all my friends leave i will start, ok when Uni starts i will start...I STILL HAVENT STARTED!  I'm a 'WEST'!

To cut this very long story short, after a whole month of going off my diet and eating like i had nothing to gain i'm pretty much back to where i started.

CURRENT WEIGHT - 118.4kg

To be honest i am more disappointed in myself than anyone else, like i don't even know where to start from. I haven't only derailed with regards to my diet, so many other things as well, my studies(i cant remember the last time i did proper sch work), my God; I havent had a good relationship with  my God lately, we barely talk, i just throw in a quick prayer before i go to sleep, not because i want to say hi, but for my own selfish reasons. Sometimes i think of it this way, if my boyfriend doesn't say hi to me a whole day, i'll go crazy, i love attention! so i can only imagine how upset my God is with me right now. Funny how when i forget my God everything in my life just goes downhill.

I think i have just been pursuing irrelevant things lately!

Anyways having said all these...hopefully something good happens. Thanks to Esosa for checking up on me by the way.

Nachos...xxx